Democracy getting in the way? We can help! We sell tools to help you tame the great beast. Here are some of our offerings:
| Product Name | Description | Price (in thousands) |
|---|---|---|
| Representative | Getting your feet wet? A representative in the House is a great start for those seeking to shape public policy. | $500.00 |
| Senator | Buy your very own advocate in the upper house of the US Congress! Exert targeted, lasting policy influence via high-powered committees. | $15,000.00 |
| President | Peerless power for boundless ambition! Wage war, give life and death, subsidize whole industries! The sky is the limit. For maximum benefit consider a bundle with legislative products. | $5,000,000.00 |
| Supreme Court Justice | Subject the populace to YOUR value judgments! Immortalize your personal ethics by setting case law precedent. Limited supply. Please call us after payment to discuss delivery. | $500,000.00 |
| PRCampaign | George Orwell said freedom is the freedom to say 2+2=4, but we say real freedom is saying 2+2=5! Sit back as we convince the public that black is white and down is up. Watch them vote against their self-interest, support any cause, and forgive any deed! Call for pricing. | $1.99 |